Whats happening??

There has been unrelated incidences off late in one's life that results into this rather negative title to this post -

First - Officer.. Officer...,
The phone on my table rings, as it does almost every five minutes, and I am told by our front desk executive - that a certain Income tax inspector wanted to meet me. I enquire what he wanted, knowing fully well the reply I would get - that he wouldn't tell and would meet only the director of the company. So I walk down to meet him.

We settle down in a cabin. He asks "Where is your company's bank account?" (I assumed that he meant in which bank) - He gets the answer - idbi bank. He enquires - "and your personal account" (I was about to demand his id card but thought better) and replied - "Same bank". He suddenly changes track getting more friendly - "well main yeh sab bateen karne nahi aya (I'm not here to talk about all these) apse ek kaam tha" He pulls out a reciept of a student who had booked a seat in one of the forthcoming batches in our training institute and says - "Yeh ek paan wale ki bacchi hai - ise 50% discount kar dijiye (She is the daughter of a paan wala. Give her a 50% discount)". I was taken aback at the bkuntness of the process to say the least.

I quickly recover and suggest to him that 50% is a very high figure. He is no mood to listen to my explanations of why. He fires - "Dekhiye mein to aapse kisi aur tarah se baat karne hi nahi aaya tha? Aapke area ka kaam mein hi dekhta hoon. Itni chooti si request hai" (See I did not come to you to use my influence. Your area is under my scrutiny in the dept. Its a small request)...................................

Second - for a mere .....,
I am driving back home after a hard (really) day's work and am enjoying Jagjit's voice over the car stereo looking forward to a round of chess with my recently retired dad. A police man on a bike (Khakhi Dress with two red stripes on his side) interrupts me and asks me to take my car to the side of the road. I comply, get out of the car and ask what the matter was. He instructs - "Car mein baithe jaiye. (Please sit in the car)" I did. He followed - in the seat next to mine.

He says "Bhai Saheb!! Gaadi kaise chala rahe hai" (Mr. Look at the way you are driving?). I was a little surprised and retorts "Kyon (what happemed)" He tells me that I was talking on my mobile and that i was not using the seat belt. I retorted - "No, I was not talking on my mobile". He ignored my retorts and said - "Aap behka nahi sakte - Palasia par latest machine lagi hai - aapka picture aa gaya hai mobile par baat karte hue. Drive chal rahi hai - hamari puri team baithi hui hai (You cannot dodge. At palasia we have a machine which taken your picture talking on mobile. There is a drive on- an entire team is present)" Now I felt a little irked.
(yeah !! Someone telling me that Indore traffic police has smartened up and has put surveillance equipments - wow!! - that provides wrong information. Am I such a dumbo by face --- really....)
However, I wanted to get rid of him - I said "Sorry". He immediately softened up and to my utter - complete - unbelievable surprise - said smilingly - "Theek Hai !! Jo aap ki iccha ho kar do. (Give whatever you wish to)" Not that I was not anticipating his tactics to generate some underhand income - but even for me - it was too blunt an approach....... and I was now angry.

I replied - "Why". He smiled (his consistent smile that of a salesman talking to his prospective customer was too much for me to take - but he was police... right) - "Bhai saheb - Chitti to 350-400 rupeye ki banegi (I cannot translate that - all he means is that if I choose to be leagally charged for the alleged breaking of rule - it will amount to at least 350-400 rs.). I said but what gets charged for not using the seat belt is Rs. 100. Pet comes the reply "Par aap mobile par baat bhi to kar rahe the (But you were talking on your mobile too)" I retorted - I have not talked on my cell for the last hour. He says "Aapka photo aa gaya hai (You have been photographed talking on the phone)" I challenged him to show the photograph to me. Reply - "Woh aapko thodi dikhayege (That will not be shown to you)". I was now red with anger and asked him flat - "Aapki team baithi hai na - usme magistrate bhi to hoge. Unhe to dikhayege. Chaliye mujhe unse mila dijiye (Your team is sitting there. Isn't it? There must be a magistrate in the team. You will atleast show the photograph to him. Take me to him."

Now he changed gears yet again. "Aap kyon baat ko itna bada rahe hai? Ham to din raat chourahe par khade rehte hai. Kabhi aap aap phas gaye to aapki help hi karege. Jo bhi aap ku marji ho de dijiye. (Why do you want to go to that extent. I generally stand on these squares. If you get caught somewhere - I will help you. just give whatever you feel like).......... Bribes are now begged for....

Third - Babu-dom-dum
After a hard days work I decided its time to get back to home early and walked down the steps of my office - and I noticed a chauffeur ambassador with a yellow light on top entering the gate. The gentleman on the backside of the car had a wireless in his hand and he got down from the car as if he is there for an official purpose. He approached me and said in an almost derogatory manner - "Kyon kaun hai yeha ke Director - jara unse kaho nagar nigam se Mr. X aaye hai. (Who is the Director of this place. Tell him Mr. X from Nagar Nigam has arrived).

I tell him that I am the person he is looking for. He suddenly waters down (and I wonder - do I not look the grade) and says "Mein X Nagar Nigam ka removal officer - aapka area mere under mein hi aata hai. (I am mr. X - removal officer from Nagar Nigam. Your area falls under my jurisdiction)" I enquire as to what he wanted. He assures me "Are mein yeha nagar nigam ke kaam se nahi aaya (Oh !! I am not here for official work). Actually my son wanted to join your institue, so I thought I will meet you once. Free mein nahi hoga - bas jo bhi discount aap karte hai woh de dejiye (Don't give it free - just provide discount)" Artfully he adds - "nagar nigam mein kuch kaam ho to bataiyega (Tell me about any work you need done in nagar nigam)".....................

End Note
What does one say except repeat the title of this post - Yeh kya ho raha hai ?? Whats happening? Why me?

Picture Courtsey : http://www.ipxsystems.net and http://www.fotosearch.com/

Lage Raho Munna Bhai aka Rang De Basanti

Watched "Lage Raho Munna Bhai" yesterday. Although, I do not write film reviews but this movie made me write one.

Like most others in the country, I had adored Munna Bhai MBBS. The Movie - was not an original idea. It was inspired by one similar hollywood movie. But the inspiration was well developed and suitably indianised. In fact one cannot use the word copy in this context. It was brilliant execution, in my view.

I had also appreciated the genius of thought in the Aamir khan starrer - Rang De Basanti (RDB). The idea of gelling martyrs of the yesteryears with generation-x of today was brilliant. The entire movie was executed with great finnese, as well.

So when I sat through the sequel of munna bhai - it did not take great intelligence to understand that the inspiration for this movie was RDB. Like the first time the inspiration was worked upon very well and so one does not feel bad at all shelling out a fortune to sit through this simple yet touching movie, however it remains an inspired movie to say the least.(Spoilers ahead if you haven't watched the movie already).

Its a neat copy of an idea - simple too. What did RDB do? It took some heroes from our freedom movement and weaved an artful story of how their passion and depth of thought can influence our so called spoilt brats of generation-x. It was a successful idea and worth copying. So what do you do? You dig out another freedom fighter as your protagonist. Now when the original had already picked up the more aggressive heroes of the freedom movement - who should be your obvious next pick - who else but Gandhiji - the one and only who represents the other philosophy.

What else can make it unique? RDB was a serious movie - so you keep the brand Munna Bhai alive by weaving it with a funny (really) theme. You can ofcourse not make a comedy of Gandhiji in this country and so the movie is with a serious message - and I must say, the movie succeeds in sending that message bang into your head. The simpilicity with which it makes Honesty still the best policy - is touching, inspiring, commendable and what does one say....... eye opening.

Some of the sequences are just too good - one cannot but associate oneself with the characters quite closely. Some of my favourite - the one where Munna Bhai offers an apology to Circuit - excellent dialogues, super delivery. Another one when the Munna Bhai's crush invites him to deliver a lecture on Gandhiji at her old age home and Circuit tries to avoid it finally losing the battle - excellent sense of timing by Arshad. Then the impossible sequence when Munna Bhai directs a depressed young man to share truth with his father - through the medium of (yes believe it) radio (do you again remember RDB - see I told you so) - the sequence ended up becoming quite believable - thats a huge achievement. Even the sequence when Munna Bhai goes on a satyagrah was carried out well.

Of the cast - Sanjay Dutt is better than he was in the original Munna Bhai, Boman Irani makes his mark yet again - fluent, flawless and with ease he carries some of the toughest characters that bollywood has to churn out. He deserves another series of awards for this role. Vidya Balan is like a gust of fresh air - charming and very authentic in her role - also effortless, she is a good actress. However the best of the lot is - Arshad Varsi. An actor whom bollywood has not yet utilised. The character of Munna Bhai will be simply devoid of any attraction without this yet another spectacular performance by Arshad. He has that sense of timing and expression which makes him a natural at comedy.

The editing is great - you are rivetted to your seat from the word go. The pace is fast enough to gloss over some obvious loopholes and before I talk about them let me commend a very well written script which makes the this movie very very effective.

Talking of loopholes I was rather amused that, circuit who generally would find a great funny way of cheating his way out of any situation for Munna bhai, could not think of a creative solution to Munna Bhai's problem of delivering a lecture on Gandhiji at an old age home. Remember the way he helped Munna Bhai top the PMT exam, or the way he helped him get an exclusive "body" for his practicals at the medical college, or the way he helped generate immediate logistic support to the whims of Munna Bhai - in the first version. In this one what idea does he come up with - a Library carrying literature on Gandhiji - for Munna Bhai to read. Somehow it simply does not go with the theme or the overall plot. Also the sequence in which Munna shares the truth about himself with her love - the reaction and the instant breakup should have been developed a lot better. The music is better than the last time but not outstanding. However the picturisation of "Lage Raho ..." was marvellous.

All in all - very good value for money. A surprisingly good sequel. Go ahead and watch it.

PS. Photograph Courtesy http://www.apunkachoice.com

Musings from a Pilgrimage - II

This is a continuation of a post that I wrote several weeks back. Read the first part here for the context.

The yatra continues. First signs of tiredness visible and the prospects ahead look scary. An arduous return journey of 25+ km on foot of which we might have covered maybe 20% by now.

But then the hill is beautiful, view awesome and spirits high. We go on and so does my musings.




A crash course in effective selling
"Identify a need, have a prouct to satisfy the need and then sell patiently but persistently". Thats what we learnt at the B-School. You learn this free on a pilgrimage to "Shikharji" from the Doliwalas. When starting for the Yatra we had booked one "doli" (More about Dolis and Doliwalas in my earlier post) and one person to carry my kid. My parents had assured me that they would cover the entire distance on foot. They were angry when I booked another person for the kid as they thought the lone doliwala was to take care of the kid.

As we started with the yatra however, another couple of doliwals joined us on the journey - just like that. We tried to ignore them, my dad anticipating what they wanted, even warned them that they might not get anything from us. They agreed but continued to give company.

Every time mom and/or dad stopped for a breath and they will softly mutter "Baith Jaiye Saheb - Thoda Aaram Hoga" (Please sit in the Doli, you will feel better). Mom first brushes them aside bravely. But as the "Yatra" progresses and she develops signs of tiring - she becomes more patient of them - muttering "baba, agar jaroorat hogi to bata denge - magar hamare bharose mat raho."(we shall tell you if needed, but don't depend on us). The first signs of tiring shown about three kms from the start.

They go on - but look at the face of my dad now. With the strength of a man knocking at the retiring age and the courage of a man who never needed any such support in the past, coming to terms with the fact that he might have grown old after all. The same hills that he conquered easily 25 years ago when they were more daunting - looked close but out of reach. He goes on - none the less.

And then the last nail in the coffin, a particularly steep strectch which also brings some stairs to climb and around 9:00 am in the morning - sun glows with its glorious bright rays - the first time since we started. We would call the weather pleasent had we not been sweating already because of the walk and now the heat was both pulpable and sapping.

I, my wife and my sister ensure that one of us is always beside each of my parents. We start suggesting gently - a saviour - the doliwalas. They also smelled the business and more importantly their real customer. They must have realised that the people who sit in the 'doli' eventually are not the ones who make the purchase decision. (How many times in our case studies at the B-School would this fact face us - I am not sure all of us remember that). So, they now mutter under my breath - "Babuji thak gaye hai. Unhe baitha dijiye - aaram ho jayega" (Your father is tired. Ask him to sit in the doli - he will feel better). I am also more tolerant of them now - realising fully well that we might need them soon enough. In fact, I signaled to my wife and she immediately discussed the possible charges in case they are needed.

Everything is ready - they do not haggle much on the price - they easily accept my offer of Rs. 100 to carry my dad to the nearest peak. So finally after travelling close to 7 kms my parents give in and both sat on different dolis and my mom as if to share the guilt takes along her grandson in the doli.

They took us to the nearest peak where the first of the temples (they are called "toonk"). Thats half way through - approx. 8 kms from the starting point. Now to visit as many toonk as is possible we were supposed to walk another 7 odd kms in various directions and then finally the descent back which will complete the near 27 kms journey. The doliwalas has been excellent marketers and they have won their trophy. They are almost confident that we will book them for the rest of the journey as well and I am not in a position to bet my money to prove them wrong.

Sure enough after our immediate stop I talk to them about the rest of the jorney. Once again without much negotiations I offer a rational model - half the price of regular and they do not take any chances lest I change my mind. Its smooth - perfect selling, even if driven by compulsions of roji- roti (daily bread).

Well my musings are not over but I am taking too much time to put them up - so I will write them one at a time. Wait for the next in the series.

Ciao